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Meet Miss Magnolia

Miss Magnolia Donnyss Cotton Rucker Etiquette & Protocol Consultant

"Growing up in the South only embellished my love affair with etiquette, protocol and manners," reflects Miss Magnolia. "All of my life people have come to me to get my opinion. It is a pleasure to compile my thoughts for the etiquette edification to help others, bringing back the correctness of my youth." Her Southern upbringing and traditional genteel create her authoritative charm and fuel her passion to educate people on etiquette basics and life skills.

Donnyss Cotton Rucker, widely referred to and recognized as Miss Magnolia, is full of grace. She is a trained certified consultant of decorum and gracious hospitality, qualified to render assistance through her professional experience and longevity as an active civil servant, socialite, wife and mother of five. As a graduate of the prestigious America School of Protocol she is skilled to guide children, college students, graduates entering the workforce, seasoned business professionals and adults in the fields of: socialization, self-presentation, dining and etiquette, telephone, conversation, thank you notes, safety, memory, interviewing as well as dating and theatre protocol.

A Return to Grace

Miss Magnolia is adamant about her 2006 mantra, 'A return to grace': "You must put your best foot forward because people are always watching. You represent your race, family and lineage and owe it to those looking to you for guidance to be someone they can emulate."

When Miss Magnolia speaks, you are compelled to listen. Thankfully, she so graciously shares with COCOACHiC quick pointers from her platform on social politeness, poise and presentation.

Minding Manners, Matters

"Do not believe for a moment that good manners are disappearing and no longer essential," Miss Magnolia asserts. "Good manners are only common sense. They display generosity of spirit and consideration for others." In Miss Magnolia's opinion: "What separates us from the beasts is not only our ability to accessorize, but also to know the difference between 'eating' and 'dining' and remembering to practice impeccable manners." She maintains that decorum should always be in order.

Ask Miss Magnolia

CHiC: Do you tell someone she has lipstick on her teeth? How?

Miss Magnolia: Yes, you definitely tell her. There is no other way than to be straightforward. A lady with concern for others will tell the person. The same applies for someone with exposed nasal mucus, pantyhose above the skirt or pants waist or toilet paper clung to the heel. If it would embarrass you then you are obligated to exercise your sense of fair play.

CHiC: Do you tell someone that her clothing size fits inappropriately? If so, how?

Miss Magnolia: There's a Southern saying, 'sweep your own yard before you sweep the neighbor's.' In short, it's really not your business. It's amazing that that people take it upon themselves to be self-appointed fashion police and criticize others. It's really just cruel. You're not just judging a fashion faux pas; it's about compassion. If it's a personal friend, comment cautiously, but it's in poor taste to make a comment to someone that you are not close to.

CHiC: Is it 'cute' for women to wear a matching outfit along with their significant other?

Miss Magnolia: It's tacky and really just something that those of lower social echelons do. Unless the couple is attending a costume or masquerade party, it makes no sense. If you study social stratification, you will find that affluent people dress the standard as appropriate for social occasions.

CHiC: Any comment on the label whores among us? How many garments and accessories can a brand name be emblazoned on in one ensemble?

Miss Magnolia: I have noticed that younger people allow the tag to show price or authenticity of their clothing or accessory. It's inappropriate. There's a difference between your style and your statement and that depends on the individual and their purpose. The price tag and matching Coach [brand] pieces is insanity. That person wants people to think of them based on trappings. On the other end of the spectrum, I happen to collect Louis Vuitton bags and I have my whole life. I carry my travel pieces, but I would never go as far as shoes.

Social Styling

Miss Magnolia speaks on general beauty and fashion guidelines for the lady of social grace with tried and true lessons that are applicable in the U.S. and abroad.

EVERYDAY: Business attire is a jacket ensemble and a wardrobe should have slacks and skirts that coordinate with jackets. Business casual is slacks without a jacket. A woman should own a really nice suit that can be dressed up or down depending on accessories and a nice pair of shoes with matching handbag. A good pair of leather gloves, even if you live in a warm place for when you travel to a cold climate, and one good hat.

TRAVEL: Carry one solid suit, one solid black pump (Miss Magnolia loves St. Johns or Ferragamos), kitten heel or stiletto that you can comfortably walk in, and an evening outfit especially appropriate to mix and match. A lady carries a handkerchief and knows the difference between an evening bag and a handbag.

JEWELRY: Ensure that jewelry is not garish, but still honors personal style. A simple watch that is elegant, not fun. Be concerned with jewelry and decide what is appropriate, given corporate versus leisure settings. Every lady should have a string of pearls, not necessarily real pearls, but certainly a good faux pair. Every woman should own a good pair of hoops not necessarily obtrusive, in either silver or gold.

GROOMING: Clean, manicured nails, including underneath nails is a must for both women and men.

BODY ART/PIERCINGS: A belly ring and multiple ear piercings are fine, but it's not always appropriate for it to show. Be cognizant of tattoo type and design — names, shield and symbols of sorority organizations are appalling. Consider the tattoo showing years from now. While a tattoo can be covered with Dermablend, it may limit fashion options later, for example, the style of a wedding dress.

MAKEUP: Learn correct makeup type and application. Some people can carry off serious colors, heavy eyeliner, even fake lashes. Everyone cannot. Know the correct way to apply makeup and then consider style or statement. Think about flamboyancy and appropriateness at corporate versus social events. If makeup is too heavy, people will not take you seriously. Subtlety can enhance your look; perhaps dark brown eyeliner is more flattering than black, still dramatic but not as harsh a look. Lip liner pencil and lipstick in complementary shades are staples and should always be worn. Eye pencils are for eyes not for lips. All too often women of color mistake black or brown lip liner as a necessity (per Miss Magnolia, this is an atrocity). The makeup of a celebrity does not make it appropriate for you. Be careful of makeup instructors that have stereotypical, racial ideas of how women of color 'should' look; be aware of style instruction.

DINGING: To be competitive you must know how to eat in public, course servings and appropriate utensils. Prepare by setting the table in your home often, not just on special occasions.

Humbly, Miss Magnolia admits, she who teaches also learns. We are grateful for her high regard and dedication in contributing to social fitness.

~Bernie

Check out Miss Magnolia's website in the Health & Wellness/Personal Growth category of CHiC Links and her self-published book, Miss Magnolia Speaks on Etiquette and Impeccable Manners in the Books category of CHiC Links.

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